2003-05-11 - 10:01 p.m.
Penny for my thoughts... Not sure.. Contimplating about alot of things right now... I mainly guessing if maybe somethigns wrong with me... Mentally that is. I knew I never been in love before. I cared about people and compassionate and all that, but I cant say I ever fell in love.. I dont know why this is bothering me now. I'm guessing its cause i'm watching 2 of my close friends falling in love, which I'm ver happy for them, but it made me feel like I'm missing something.. I been in my fair share of relationships, but I never gotten to the point where I felt like giving my heart completely to someone. I have a good idea of what love is and I know how it should feel from listening and seeing the experiances of the people around me.. I know what it should be and what it shouldnt be. I even helped out alot of friends with there relationships... But here I am..The one who never loved..I had girls who said they been in love with me, But I never loved them back... Is there something wrong with me I ask... I see the natural order of things in this lifetime. Men and women living out the role of finding the mate, making a place for themselves in the world, having and raising children to teach them the the cycle of how the world works it goes all over again... See my thing is i dont believe thats all there is.. There has to be something more that just exsisting like that...It just seems too boring. Tell me whats out there. Make me what I feel in my heart is out there.. Maybe by answering me this I'll know where my place is in this complex puzzle we call life. Well i got to go now gang.. TTYL
