2003-05-27 - 11:27 a.m.
Every feel like your looking though a glass window at someones house? You look though and see happy people cuddleing, familys all togheter bonding, people in love, wonderful christmas... I alwasy seem to be on the outside of the glass looking in. Thats what it feels like. I know its there.. Its just I cant reach it or no one invited me in. But I'm not welcomed sometimes or I dont belong there. I visit my married friends from time to time and there great and all that, but I notice I'm in a way living my family life though them in a way. Its not a bad thing cause is a good family.. Its just not mine... Another couple I know who I set them up together. There great and all but as far as family functions and all that, I dont belong there. I'm sure her family isnt fond of me either. What is it about me thats soo differnt? I try to blend in.. I'm sure its because of the secrets i have to keep about myself. I cant be totally open with someone or else they'll look at me differnt and have pity on me.. i dont want pity. I dont want people to be depressed over me.
